prologueWelcome to my blog
About meI am Kamy, while Reily is actually a made up name
I get 1 year older on the 3rd September every year, but no one really remembers because no one really cares
Currently taking up photography as my hobby but I do not really dedicate much time to it, but I am still loving it
wishlist- Learning Korean
- A pet bunny
- Travel overseas early
- Get braces
- Get a Mini Cooper
Monday, September 02, 2013
22 @ 11:57 PMEvery year, at this day of the month, I will always feel very paranoid.
I hope that people will remember this special day that I was brought to Earth and said my first "Hi" to my loving mother. However, I will try to curb my own hopes and push it somewhere dark so that I will be back in my safe zone in case no one actually took note of it, forgotten or probably never knew because of the amount of paranoia and uncertainty that builds up every year.
I've seen many parties, helped in organizing, been there, had fun and enjoyed.
But when I try to imagine about mine... Nah, lets not waste time, money and effort at all.
I'm learning not to feel so paranoid anymore, learning to live it as it is.
I admire those who can be so preoccupied with their work and chores that they forget about their birthdays. It shows that they have more important things in life than to be imagining things.
I don't hate my birth because I'm totally thankful and appreciative of my life.
Each years are marked with my mum's hard work, sweat and tears for bringing me up and providing me to become who I am today. I'm also thankful for all those people, friends or acquaintances who came across and made an impact or change in my life. Similarly, they play a role as important as my mother.
And most importantly, I'm thankful that God have selected me out of my other (unfortunate) siblings. God gave me a chance to breathe, live and praise him every moment that I'm here, even though I've only got to know him 3 years back, the love he have poured out to me is already unexplainable.
So, thank you to everyone who have taken a walk with me in my journey of life. Be it long distance or short, I'm still thankful that you were once there with me.
May God's blessing be upon all of you.
And, happy birthday to me :)
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Different @ 10:35 PMI feel so out of this world suddenly.
I prefer spending time alone, enjoying little things, have a little conversation with my brain for a bit, think about things or nothing at all, watch people, seeing them with their family, children, partners or friends.
And I start to think about my friends, picking out a few who actually created impression deeply in my life, thinking about how we knew one another, those funny things we shared and did together and got a little upset that we have since ceased contacting due to lifestyle differences.
I realise I start talking lesser to people lately. I do not know how to properly converse or communicate with people.
When I speak, I start getting really long winded and often bores people out before getting to the point.
I feel so different from people around me.
I enjoy my simple, delicious and cheap food at my foodcourts or coffee shops.
Restaurants are only meant for gatherings or any other special occasions.
I enjoy dressing comfortably to work, although I do envy people who dresses up in their formal dress and shirts, but I will feel uncomfortable if I do that, I wouldn't feel happy walking around because it is too serious.
I enjoy carrying my canvas tote bag which cost only $18, expensive or branded bag just looks too funny on me.
Though they may bring you a little bit of attention and respect when you flaunt them around, but my main concern will be, so long as my belongings wouldn't drop out from the bottom of the bag, I'm safe to go.
You may call me boring, but I enjoy this part of my life now.
Quiet and peaceful...
Being noisy and "wild" will make me lose myself and I don't like that side of me. Because I realise that I wouldn't be able to sort out my thoughts logically and I'm not in the right state of mind to do my things or handle any friendship around me at all.
I guess it may be due to the age that is crawling up on me, I like things slower but steady.
I'm just a bit different from all of you.
But that's just me....
Monday, June 24, 2013
@ 11:19 PMI simply hates how weak I am at guarding my heart when it comes to handling people of the opposite gender.
When I hang out with them too much, communicate with them too much, I start to get dependent on them.
It is very tiring and I'm just putting myself into pain again eventually.
Why can't I just be stronger?
How many times must I reopen the bible plan to remind myself of what God plans for me?
You can do better than this Kamy.
Put it all in the hand of God
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Life @ 7:06 PMAs I take a walk around the park, I started to think about my future, about my life.
I calculated the amount I would have saved up by the time I'm flying off to Australia for my holiday with a friend.
$800 a month from June, in October, I should already have $4000 to arrange for my flight and accommodations, also, the shopping and other entertainments.
But what will happens after that?
At the age of 21 now (turning 22 this year) I only have $4 left in my bank after all the savings I've set aside for my holiday.
Housing, car, marriage, children...
I doubt I would even be able to accomplish that in less than 5 years.
How much should I save for all these to happen? Take from my mother?
I don't think that is a good idea.
All the necessary expenditures monthly, the little amount of money I'm earning.
It is never enough.
The higher my wages, the amount if CPF I have to contribute.
Yes, as a Christian, I understand that God provides for us in unexpected ways. But still, we will have to plan a little and seek his advice.
I am really lost right now, maybe because my faith in God isn't strong enough. But I have got to trust in Him fully to lead me and point out my path in my journey in life.
Right now, I just need to sort things out properly to prevent anymore distractions and confusion.
God, please lead my way. Please guide me, holding my hand as I take my baby steps to walk with you.
All glories goes to you Jesus.
Monday, May 27, 2013
Updates of things going on @ 9:15 PMIt's been really long since I last updated this blog as I have been posting up on the other blog for someone due to him being away from me for awhile.
Come to think about it, it was really a vast waste of time and I should have been able to focus more on my own life instead of being focused on him solely. I'm glad that I've managed to let go, but little did I know that we have fallen out due to a lack of miscommunication which makes me too tired of chasing already.
So that aside, I'm here to update about what has happened over the past few months that I didn't update.
As mentioned in the previous post, I was being transferred to Scotts Square EpiCentre. Initially I felt really irritated to be at the place because its too quiet and boring, I was not able to clique well with my colleagues and if they do not talk to me, my time there is really dreadful.
Eventually, I started getting used to the workplace, colleagues started breaking the ice and we started talking more which makes working there less dreadful.
Usually, this will be the month which I hates the most and wants to avoid all the time.
Because this month is my birthday month.
I choose to avoid it because I fear disappointments from people who initially promised to celebrate with me. Who wouldn't like having friends with them on their special day?
Be it big party (self-planned or surprise party) or even if it is a casual meal together, as long as I am remembered, it would be good enough to make me contented.
This year will be my 21st birthday but I do not want to place the hope that there will be anyone who will be there to celebrate for/with me, so I've decided to escape overseas instead.
Am glad that Junhui actually agrees to go overseas with me. Initially, we planned on going to Phuket to join his brother and his friend but when we receives our pay check, it is too pathetic so we went to Batam instead.
The famous layered cake place
The dirt cheap cigarette in Batam. This costed us SGD1.50 only
After the Batam trip, we planned on going to Malaysia for a day as I haven't been there since a decade ago. So we went to the JB zoo and to City Square mall.
We then went to the night streets behind the City Square mall to have dinner before heading back to Singapore.
The ultra delicious bao, Junhui's idea of making it like a screaming face
Guess that's all for now as this is taking too much bandwidth.
Till then people :)
tell me everythingDon't see a need for it since no one is reading me anyways
don't leave yetSo this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I'd go back to December all the time
never go backMONTHLY ARCHIVE
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» 22 » Different » I simply hates how weak I am at guarding my heart ... » Life » Updates of things going on » Emotional moments » I want a holiday! To escape from Singapore for awh... » Super angsty today. Not sure why. Have been skippi... » It is a new month! Yes, I am done with the job as ... » It's already close to 2 months! I believe I should...
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