prologue
Welcome to my blog
profile
About me
I am Kamy, while Reily is actually a made up nameI get 1 year older on the 3rd September every year, but no one really remembers because no one really cares
Currently taking up photography as my hobby but I do not really dedicate much time to it, but I am still loving it
wishlist
- Learning Korean- A pet bunny
- Travel overseas early
- Get braces
- Get a Mini Cooper
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
@ 12:01 AM
It's already close to 2 months! I believe I should do some updates to remind the future me of what happened in to her back then in the month of March and April 2012.Well basically, I am officially done with school at this moment and is waiting for my convocation in May. That is when I can get my certificate and bid the school and schoolmates our final farewell.
Throughout the month of March, i was job-searching and during that point of time, I truly feel that one should never stop progressing with their education because it is really important in their life. Well, some may beg to differ but they cannot deny.
BUT! Having high education doesn't necessarily makes you a knowledgeable person and a knowledgeable person need not necessarily have high level of education.
Sounds contradicting but I believe one should strike a balance in education and knowledge.
Sent out tonnes of resumes to various companies of jobs in the different fields, all just for a hope that I would be able to find one that can accept me and hire me for a long term job.
However, deep down somewhere in my heart, I knew I wanted to venture into the events and marketing sector...
So this was what happened throughout the month of March:
- Called up by a company with an offer as a Sales and Marketing Associate
- Went for interview and was told it requires being the main contact of events and roadshows
- Told to wait for call to confirm shortlisting and 2nd round interview
- Offered a confirmed position and went for training
- Felt conned because the Associate was just a nicer term for Promoter, For credit card companies
- Lied to the con company that I've got better offers somewhere else and left
- Got called up by hotels for interview
- Got called up by an events company for interview but was told the job was only for 1 month
- No more calls from anyone thereafter
- Given up hope and waited for replies
- Events company called back to confirm I am selected
- Bow down to faith and stayed with this one month job
So now, in the month of April, I have started my work with the events company as an coordinator. I am told not to reveal too much information to the public so I can only say that it is for a company's product launch.
The boss is a nice lady and she did mentioned to me that if she feel that I have done my job well, I am allowed a chance to go over to Shanghai.
However, I do not know why I just can't seem to focus on my work recently and I feel really lousy. I am so blur in the things I do.
God, please help me to focus on my work because I need that. Not for the chance to go to Shanghai but for a pleasant stay in this company and not feel like a total useless idiot there to swindle people with my beautiful resume and bullshit talks during interviews.
God, please give me strength.
And I believe I should be open to this.
During that period of time when I job search, I was literally staying at home everyday.
No meetups with anyone, nothing. I am entirely left alone.
Forsaken and insignificant.
Yes, I feel sad, I am a human too.
Thus, I went to source for an application which could allow me to know more people, and to chat with people. Well, I understand that some of you might be thinking like why am I exposing myself to such dangers and such.
Well then before I answer you, maybe you should answer yourself.
When you are in the dark and you yearn for light, when you see a source, would you not run for it? Would you even spare any moment to think about whether that path you are running is safe or that source of light is really the light you wanted to be.
You will never know unless you try.
I used that application for close to a month now (I guess) and I have met up with quite a handful of them already while some just contacting on the phone.
I could say that, through this app, I learnt quite a bit.
Flings, Friends with Benefits, Fuck Buddy, etc aside, I learnt that irregardless of who you are, what you have done in the pass or is currently still doing, there is a little voice in yourself that is crying in regrets for that thing that you have done. I wouldn't say that you are ignoring it but because it is just too soft to be heard and thus it is covered over by the other noise in your heart and mind.
Only when the right time or chance comes then you will be able to look into it, look at it and answer that call.
For believers, we believe that it is God's plan and his time.
For non believers, they believe that it is all time and luck.
I am truly thankful of what God has put me through to make me who I am.
And I believe that everyone that I encountered with, even for a minute or two, or longer, serves a purpose in my life.
God has His purpose of placing people in your life.
As I know that God is always watching over me, I would never refrain from being open to talk to people when they are open to listen to me.
I wouldn't say I talk with the intention to change but I share and would like to let them know that "Look, I am leading my life this way. Might look dull and boring to you but I am still surviving and contented. However, are you truly contented with yours?"
We aren't perfect to start off with, but we are all made to complement one another.
That's why we have friends, with no ill intentions kind please.
I realise that through compliments and thanks giving to someone whom you feel have impact your life actually raise the awareness of what they are unaware of. Something which they do right out from their heart that create a sense of warmth in you.
It is never wrong to share this with the person because it would allow them to know that this is part of what they are capable of and they could make use of it to impact on people positively.
I am thankful to have friends who are brave and open enough to tell me what they like and dislike about what I have done to/for them.
Most of the comments were that my concerns and care touched them, and I do not know about it because it came from the bottom of my heart. Could be due to me yearning for that amount of care and attention, thus all I was hoping to have is to be appreciated and given back at least 5% of that amount I have given.
However, God has also strengthen me that if I do not receive, I should still continue giving because He has given me so much but I may not even repay him 1%. Therefore, I will continue giving because I understand that warmth spreads, if the receiver feels warm, the giver feels it too.
Though it is disheartening to see children of God drifting away from the Father, I would like to pray that they would one day stop and turn back to look at the Father and then walk with him again. As God has never abandoned them and has been walking with them through every part of their lives.
God, I thank you for allowing me to be able to remind your lost child of your presence through your love for a step child like me, I am sorry that I still haven't gotten the courage to be your real child but please do not leave me because I love you and want to share my happiness to other people. Not to change them (if they are non-believers) but to provide them the warmth you have given to me. I would not request to feel wanted or needed by anyone but at least having a slight remembrance of me, knowing that I existed.
Irregardless of how many times I may get rejected, I will never die off because your love kept me going and love is meant to be shared. Thus, strengthen me God.
Amen.
Have a good night people.
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So this is me swallowing my prideStanding in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I'd go back to December all the time
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