prologue
Welcome to my blog
profile
About me
I am Kamy, while Reily is actually a made up nameI get 1 year older on the 3rd September every year, but no one really remembers because no one really cares
Currently taking up photography as my hobby but I do not really dedicate much time to it, but I am still loving it
wishlist
- Learning Korean- A pet bunny
- Travel overseas early
- Get braces
- Get a Mini Cooper
Monday, December 28, 2009
@ 1:04 AM
I do not know why am I making things around me looks so bad.I may or may not know the reason, wait. I am confused...
I once came across this page on a magazine which actually talks about how people of different characters stay together even though the other party's attitude and behaviour is really intolerable.
Maybe that is what is called Love.
But is it really love? Do any happiness derive from it?
Some might just say that, in love, you just give and do not expect anything in return. But if that is so, won't the 'giver' gets tired and worried one day that the 'receiver' don't even appreciate it at all? Won't he/she wants an answer at the end of the day?
I have yet to go through so much, therefore I do not know the answer.
Or rather, I am answering many other questions within me, and therefore do not wish to have more questions adding in.
It is simply unfair for me to agonise people around me with my own doubts as it is such a selfish behaviour, but somehow, all I never tend to think clearly before I act. All I know is to blame others and then apologise to gain forgiveness.
But what is the use when I would just repeat the same mistake again?
I guess the best way to refrain the person from getting targeted by me again is to leave the person in the 'Safety Zone', draw the line and move away from it.
Some might say that I am running away from reality and leave the person in more agony as he/she do not know what is wrong and had no chance to explain.
I really do not know what I am thinking about either.
Sometimes when I thought that I had stood in the shoes of the other party to think, actually, I am still in my own shoes, and the thoughts still concern most of me.
Call me selfish, stubborn, stupid, narrow-minded, whatever... Because I do not know myself either.
I am just someone who tend to speak all that is inside of me to anyone who appears to be ready to listen. And then tend to start making wild guesses of what is the person's perception about me.
This is what is going through my mind now as I am typing here.
Low self-esteem / Low confidence.
I need someone to point out to me.
I am such a stubborn person who do not listen to others,
sometimes even if I abide to it, i will tend to go back to my old self after awhile.
My action hurts people around me, I know that. And the only thing that I would do is just to avoid the situation.
What is the matter with me?
For this question, I may or may not know the answer, I am confused.
Probably being left alone without anyone around me to give me support is the best,
at least I would be able to be strong and stay focus.
Maybe to just make my stubborn thinkings seems right and pursue it,
like how everything was a few months back.
I strive and work hard to stay alive with minimal support from my family.
I was stronger back then, I am able to think better.
Why am I so weak now? Why are my thinkings so jumbled up now then?
All these questions just come into my mind.
Maybe I am just too free, and that is why I start to think about all these nonsensical stuffs.
So now, what should I do to that something which I had broken today?
To leave it as it is, to mend it and to leave it so that it would not be broken again, at least not by me, or to mend it and live with the flaws it has?
If it wasn't for me, it would still have been perfect and flawless.
Gosh, I guess I just don't deserve anything at all..
Should stop here now before it goes on and on,
I am really crappy and long-winded, for this, I know...
Sunday, December 20, 2009
@ 8:09 PM
My poor laptop is in the damage state already.The screen would blackout sometimes, but the programmes are still running in the bakgroud. Either that, or there would be a blue screen telling me that Windows was forced to shut down.
Now, my SHIFT key broke. (as in the chip, then it cannot clip onto the black clip at the bottom)
Why am i so down on luck recently? WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
@ 11:58 AM
Frustrated, very...Woke up and got prepared.
Left home thinking that I would be punctual for drivings and such, but after making a call to my friend, I realise I was dead late.
My lesson was supposed to be at 8.15am and not 10.30am.
Got to the driving centre to ask if I can get a change in the lesson time and all but they told me was, since I am already late, I am considered absent.
There goes my money...
That is why, when one person is really down in luck, nothing will ever turn out right for him/her for a very long time.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
@ 3:59 PM
So saddening, it is irritating, so frustrating.My laptop is giving me so much problems,
first was lagginess in the websites,
then black screen when it load up.
After installing Windows 7, it got worst.
Websites start to load slowly,
my mobile modem sometimes won't connect properly.
Now, it gives me a blue screen, telling me that my system crash.
Called up the helpdesk and they suggest me to bring it down for the engineer to check. If it is software's problem, it would cost $55, if hardware, it will be $85.
I am already so broke after the booking of my practical lessons.
This year is such an unlucky year for me and I don't know when will this wear off.
Arrgghh!
Irritated.
@ 12:51 AM
Had my first practical lesson, after such a long wait.
Everything was smooth and good.
Met with Peiting and the rest for project but I was hibernating half of the time as i was really sleepy. Oh gosh, I am really sorry...
Shall head to sleep now and prepare for another practical lesson tomorrow!
Good night people. (:
___________
It took me some time and a lot of courage to agree to the existence,
I apologise for my uncertainty, but please don't let your ego fall.
Just hold it high to help keep my uncertainty at bay,
assurance and affirmation is all I need
I am contented with what I have now and I won't be searching for anymore substitutes,
even if I say that I want to, you should know that it is just a tease. (:
Everything was smooth and good.
Met with Peiting and the rest for project but I was hibernating half of the time as i was really sleepy. Oh gosh, I am really sorry...
Shall head to sleep now and prepare for another practical lesson tomorrow!
Good night people. (:
___________
It took me some time and a lot of courage to agree to the existence,
I apologise for my uncertainty, but please don't let your ego fall.
Just hold it high to help keep my uncertainty at bay,
assurance and affirmation is all I need
I am contented with what I have now and I won't be searching for anymore substitutes,
even if I say that I want to, you should know that it is just a tease. (:
Monday, December 14, 2009
@ 12:36 AM
GEESH, shouldn't have read this.Some are so untrue and it turn out to be a chain post, so i had to post up after reading.
Well, not that I am scared that the guy of my life would run away,
if he really wish to run away, I would hail a limo for him and buy him air tickets to get as far away as possible.
Then I will find myself a hotter guy XD
But where is the guy of my life? Is he somewhere out there?
1. Guys are more emotional than you think, if they loved you at one point, it’ll take them a lot longer than you think to let you go, and it hurts every second that they try.
2. Guys may be flirting around all day, but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
3. Guys go crazy over a girl’s smile.
4. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.
5. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they’re going for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.
6. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.
7. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they’re still loved.
8. Guys don’t care how gorgeous you are, if you’re a bitch Goodbye.
9. Giving a guy a hanging message like ‘You know what?!..uh…nevermind..’ would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he’ll assume he did something wrong and he’ll obsess about it trying to figure it out.
10. Girls are guys’ weaknesses.
11. Guys are very open about themselves.
12. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don’t need to give advice.
13. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
14. Guys love you more than you love them.
15. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. They rarely use beautiful or gorgeous. If a guy uses that, he loves you or likes you a whole hell of a lot.
16. No matter how much guys talk about butts and boobs, personality is key.
17. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.
18. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn’t notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.
19. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.
20. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he’s probably faking it and is spazzing inside.
21. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.
22. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he’s just actually saying, ‘Please come and listen to me.’
23. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn’t happen that often, so when it does, you know something’s up.
24. When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don’t say you aren’t. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don’t want you to disagree with them.
25. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he’s definitely thinking something.
26. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
27. Don’t be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.
28. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.
29. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.
30. A guy would give his right nut to be able to read a girl’s mind for a day.
31. No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He’s just too stubborn to admit it.
32. Not all guys are jerks. Just because ONE is a jackass doesn’t mean he represents ALL of them.
33. They love it when girls talk about their boobs. haha it’s true..
34. When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you sexually
35. Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs.
36. Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it ..it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts.
37. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.
38. Even if you dump a guy months ago and he loved you he probably still does and if he had one wish it would be you to come back into his life.
—Ladies, if u don’t repost this within 1 hr then you will lose the guy of your life
—Guys, if you don’t repost this in one hr then you will lose the girl of your life.
Post this as: things girls don’t realize
Sunday, December 13, 2009
@ 10:14 PM
Dangerous driving, squabbled, breakfast+lunch, end.
Headed over to my little farm after my meal and enjoyed myself with the big fat farmer.
Went out to town for some window shopping and then went home via cab, just to know that they do not accept NETS and had to call up my mum to bring the money to pay the driver.
Had dinner and rotted.
Tomorrow is a big day for you and me,
if you pray, count me in too...
ALL THE BEST TO YOU, GOOD LUCK!
save some (luck) for me too.
Friday, December 11, 2009
@ 12:22 AM
Life 2 days back was like a roller-coaster...Went to retake my TTT because it expired and passed it.
When I was waiting for the bus to go home, my mum called to say that she cut herself and the bleeding wouldn't stop.
I didn't much thought that it was a big problem and told her to try to stop the blood and see a doctor if it is very serious.
Got home to see her index finger being bandaged by herself but the bleeding just wouldn't stop.
Fortunately a friend was there to help me ice my mum's wound and realise that the cut wasn't those normal cut but a very deep and major one.
Rush over to a neighbourhood clinic, got back home, and in the evening,
the bleeding continued and my mum went to unwrap the bandage.
The sight of so much blood irks me,
so I dress up the wound and went back to the clinic where the doctor injected and did Cauterization but then found out that the main reason for the unstoppable blood flow is due to the loss of flesh and such, so we got referred to TTSH's A&E.
Had a bit of emotional roller-coaster while preparing for the hospital that night,
doctors checked and gave my mum yet another anti-flu (or whatever) jab,
redress the wound and then gave us a letter of referral to the polyclinic for regular follow-up dressing of the wound.
When preparing meals with my mum these days,
I understand why sometimes when I don't come back for dinner, my parents got angry.
But the process of cooking with my mum was rather enjoyable.
And I am glad to hear that when she went back to the polyclinic today,
the nurse who redress her wound told her that she is recovering faster than expected.
There are also calls from her friends and the clinic, which we went to for Cauterization, to check whether my mum is doing fine or not.
Hopefully she would feel the warmth from her surrounding and not have anymore emotional roller-coasters already.
♥
An error of a tune in the song would make everything go wrong.
However, if comments were given, tunes were change, it makes the songs sound even better than before.
Though the song was composed,
the singer was too busy with other compositions,
and forgotten about her poor listener and was left to wait in vain.
Poor shrinking, drying Orange...
♥
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
@ 12:07 AM
Before I keep exclaiming how good Windows 7 is,
let me complain about the bad things.
Now my Windows Media Player is converted to a newer version and I can no longer change the speed of the song to how fast or slow i want it to be already,
more like the whole thing became so confusing.
My folders are rather different too, I wanted to Group my files according to Artists,
the selection is gone and jumbled with other crappy things that I can categorise into.
My browsers became quite lag and I can't even view my cartoon properly on Crunchyroll.com.. Might be due to the Flash Player, maybe. Shall uninstall it tomorrow and update with a newer one.
However, the features are really cool, with the snapping of windows, and task bar.
Now when i scroll down a webpage, it is as though I am using an Ipod Nano because I am scrolling in a circular motion instead of the traditional up-down by the side of the touchpad.
Everything got its pros and cons though,
What sounds like a problem to me might not be a problem to you.
What sounds amazing to me might not seems as amazing to you.
And the list goes on...
That is all for today.
Good night people! (:
Monday, December 07, 2009
@ 12:08 AM
WOOHOO! My little darling is running on Windows 7 now! XDthanks to my friend for all the help and time taken to help fix my little darling.
Have yet to discover about the amazing features yet,
shall checkout after my exams.
Anyway, the software IS original, but my friend's school is good, so they got it free.
It is time to socialise now people. :)
BYE PEOPLE!
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
@ 10:56 PM
Been sneezing a lot since morning, I think I am going to die cause I kept falling sick this year.
Sat for Japanese's test this morning and most of the language are just answered based on instinct instead of knowledge. Hope i can pass, at least.
quite stressful because time is tight and there are little to do other things.
I don't like my current life, and I don't wish to know those upcoming things which is going to happen in my life.
Alright, I shall sleep early to refrain myself from falling sick.
tagboard
tell me everything
Don't see a need for it since no one is reading me anyways affiliates
don't leave yet
So this is me swallowing my prideStanding in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I'd go back to December all the time
archives
never go back
MONTHLY ARCHIVE» July 2009 » August 2009 » September 2009 » October 2009 » November 2009 » December 2009 » January 2010 » February 2010 » March 2010 » April 2010 » May 2010 » June 2010 » July 2010 » August 2010 » September 2010 » October 2010 » December 2010 » February 2011 » August 2011 » October 2011 » December 2011 » January 2012 » February 2012 » April 2012 » May 2012 » August 2012 » May 2013 » June 2013 » July 2013 » September 2013
RECENT POSTS
» 22 » Different » I simply hates how weak I am at guarding my heart ... » Life » Updates of things going on » Emotional moments » I want a holiday! To escape from Singapore for aw... » Super angsty today. Not sure why. Have been skip... » It is a new month! Yes, I am done with the job as... » It's already close to 2 months! I believe I should...
credits
give a round of applause
Layout by: CayeIcons from: Weheartit.com
Colors from: Colorpicker.com