♥ Kamy.R

prologue

Welcome to my blog

profile

About me

I am Kamy, while Reily is actually a made up name
I get 1 year older on the 3rd September every year, but no one really remembers because no one really cares
Currently taking up photography as my hobby but I do not really dedicate much time to it, but I am still loving it

wishlist

- Learning Korean
- A pet bunny
- Travel overseas early
- Get braces
- Get a Mini Cooper

Monday, June 28, 2010

@ 11:44 PM

Projects, projects and projects.

They are making me breathless, however, sometimes halfway doing it, I tend to get distracted and slowly, I drift away from my work.

That is not an ideal scene, yes I know, but what could I be doing to curb this bad habit?

Hmmmm..

Well anyways, in order to pull me out from these mounting stress on me, my SOS asked me to watch the Toys Story 3 with him.

The show was nice as it was quite touching in certain scenes. But somehow I just watched it as though I am watching some TV drama, guess those projects not only drained my creative juices, it somehow drained away my emotions.

Headed back home after the movie and I am glad that I managed to complete about 3/4 of a project. Phew~

Satisfied, a bit..

Some words from this SOS of mine after I told him regarding this phonecall which I received and this 'person' did not ask about my schedule and snap at me for not doing things efficiently.

"These are things which is there to make you stronger and handle things well. Imagine next time if you are already running a business, you have to face them too! So, take this as an opportunity to see how far you can handle so much work at one time."

Well yes I admit I am not an efficient person because I do not have a good time management and I am not resourceful. However, I am trying my best here to clear off all those works in hand which are academically based and there you go, scolding me, putting me down and telling me off through the phone.

Fine, I will do my best to show you how I could do it despite all your bad comments to me.

Good night people.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

@ 11:10 PM

It kind of feels quite sucky if you feel irritated at times when you are with your family members and sometimes, you just hope to stay away from them as far as possible.
And then you starts to hurl negative comments at them which cause them to be feeling upset,
then you will regret it.
For those which are not staying with you, you would eventually not feel like paying a visit since you get consistent updates from other people about their well-being. Moreover, there are nothing much to do during the visitation other then listening to those nonsensical rubbishes from them.

I do not know why this big chance in my view towards people around me, my family in particular.
Is it a form of avoidance from all those stress?

I feel so unproductive these days, my mind reminds me consistently that I have things to do, but the other part of my brain just refuses.

I am a weirdo

Monday, June 21, 2010

@ 12:03 AM

Songs can be soothing, pleasant or maybe hype you up in a good way.

However, there are some people who are NOT made for singing and their singing will cast some spell on you....

Giddy spell..

gosh, I am having a headache.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

@ 3:07 AM

The world had been insignificant to me like how I had been to them.

But it doesn't matter now because I had been (slightly) enlighten after much thoughts,

Thus, I had decided to stop isolating myself and to face the world.

Whether they bothers about me or not,

I will make my own stand,

I give my personal opinion (not political),

I reach out a helping hand to those in need

and I will try to do my part well.

I cannot promise, because everyone knows that there are bound to be some barriers towards achieving your dream or goal.

But if I do my best,

I believe that no barriers would get into my way.

If I am strong enough.

Kamy.R

Monday, June 14, 2010

@ 11:13 PM

I feel so insignificant in life,

no one even bothers if I am around.

If I were to disappear from Earth, I guess no one would even know,

no one would bother searching for me.

Even if they know I am gone,

no one would grief for me,

no one would feel the pain, the loss.

Friends, acquaintances, family, loved ones.

Who is there for me?

Who can hold me up when I am down?

Who can give me some advices to guide me along this path?

Had anyone even notice I had fallen into this black hole of which I can't even find a way to get out of?

Does anyone even bother about how I feel?

I can share.

But at the end of the day, are all the concerns really sincere or is it because you only came to realise that I need help through my post, my status updates or when I turned to you?

Tears from other people are looked upon wholeheartedly, afraid that more will be loss.

It is like any diamonds, any of it loss would cause everyone to feel upset.

However, tears from me are not even bothered. They are treated like dirt, like rocks.

No big deal if many is loss, because it is worthless.

We are all human.

But why are we all treated so differently?

I need the answer.

Is the problem really with me? Otherwise, why am I treated like this?

The answer is in you, but why aren't you telling me?

I really don't understand.

Thus, my only choice is to isolate myself.

Since I am already so insignificant, I guess hiding myself away make no difference.

I am very tired now.

Good night

@ 1:29 AM

I woke up early today despite it being a Sunday, watched some Doraemon and headed for a swim.

Though it was very crowded, the management separated the pool into different portions to allow swimmers to have some space to swim and not get interrupted by the instructors and learners.

So I got a good one hour or so swimming (at me comfortable pace) with minimal resting, and it made me quite tan.

I reek of chlorine when I was queueing for my turn to shower but I felt great.

Headed back home for lunch, took a short nap, had a light dinner, thereafter, I went surfing the net and just finished watching Ip Man2 on my Mac.

There goes my Sunday and here comes Monday.

Time pass before you can even realise, thus, make full use of them before you realise you have many things still left undone.

I think it is really my problem.

It had been really hard for me to step out of my own dark circle and feel happy and the love given by people around me.

I feel very confused, very stressed, very angst.

Why?

Thursday, June 10, 2010

@ 1:56 AM

♥

Love,

in a relationship,

need not be expressed through expensive branded items.

Sometimes, a little gesture from the other party could mean so much and make you feel their love.

This would then be more sincere and the amount of the gift?

Priceless.

♥

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

@ 1:00 AM

Been working at ACJC as an invigilator for the ACCA exam, today would be the 2nd day for me.

Quite a easy paying job though, walking around the hall and such. Yet, things can't be said too soon..

Anyway, iPhone 4 is out, like finally..

To those people who had been telling me "Gosh, you are never gonna get any iPhone if you want to wait... Continue waiting ah, girl. The 3Gs is good enough, just get it!" , I want to tell you this, I am not being stupid, because my wait is worth because my patience paid off. When I manage to get my iPhone 4, I will be smiling at you because you are still struggling with your contract which would bound you to your 3Gs.

Just you WAIT till that day.

Oh great, I should be heading off to sleep now.

Nothing much to keep me entertained anymore.

And that boy who told me that he is going to sleep at 12am, is still gaming, and now, it is already 1am.

Games, just bring your mind and soul away.

Sunday, June 06, 2010

@ 1:13 AM

it is my holiday right now, but why am i not feeling happy at all?

I got my pay already, I booked for my Traffic Police test already, I've got myself some part time weekdays job over the span of 2 weeks and they are paying well.

Why am I still not happy?

Because I just hate my current situation.

I hate this house I am living in.

I hate the bank balance I am having right now.

I hate to think that I have no more weekend job to support my expenses.

I hate to feel disliked by people around me.

I hate feeling so unhappy.

I hate being a part of that Teo family.

I hate myself.

Where is the Kamy who used to be so happy and bubbly?

tagboard

tell me everything

Don't see a need for it since no one is reading me anyways

affiliates

don't leave yet

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I'd go back to December all the time